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This page is for the frequent contributions from Our Classmates, including good news, celebrations, important Classmate notices, etc. If you wish to post here, just send your info and photos to the web guy: andrews.bigfatroman548@gmail.com
This is from Brother Larry Siders - well said Larry
WHISKEY
"In 1952, Armon M. Sweat, Jr., a member
of the Texas House of Representatives, was asked about his position on
whiskey. What follows is his exact answer (taken from the Political
Archives of Texas):
"If you mean whiskey, the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody
monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home,
creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the
mouths of little children; if you mean that evil drink that topples
Christian men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious
living into the bottomless pit of degradation, shame, despair,
helplessness, and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am opposed to it with
every fiber of my being.
However, if by whiskey you mean the lubricant of conversation, the
philosophic juice, the elixir of life, the liquid that is consumed when
good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm
glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer, the
stimulating sip that puts a little spring in the step of an elderly
gentleman on a frosty morning; if you mean that drink that enables man
to magnify his joy, and to forget life's great tragedies and heartbreaks
and sorrow; if you mean that drink the sale of which pours into Texas
treasuries untold millions of dollars each year, that provides tender
care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb,
our pitifully aged and infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals,
universities, and community colleges in this nation, then my friend, I
am absolutely, unequivocally in favor of it.
This is my position, and as always, I refuse to compromise on matters of
principle."
From Suzi Wyness
This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically.
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little
Pigs to her class.
She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather
the building materials for his home.
She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow
full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that
straw to build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think
the man said?'
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly...
'I think the man would have said - 'I'll be a son of a bitch!! A talking pig!'
The teacher had to leave the room.
This is from Jesse Harlin
No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED, in a way that is easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, there is most definitely a difference. To wit ...
When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.
When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED.
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!
These are from Sally Andrews Neely
Some questions to keep the "gray cells" active -
1. Johnny's mother had
three children. The first child was named April. The second child
was named May. What was the third child's name?
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten
inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest
mountain in the world?
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by
three feet by four feet?
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled
incorrectly?
6. Billy was born on December
28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this
possible?
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a
wooden leg. Why not?
8. What was the President's Name in 1975?
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd
place, what place would you be in now?
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or
"The yolk of the egg is white"?
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in
the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined
them all in another field? (Now go down for the answer)
Here are the Answers
1. Johnny's mother had three children. The
first child was named April. The second child was named May. What
was
the third
child's name?
Answer: Johnny of course
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten
inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
Answer: Meat.
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest
mountain in the world?
Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn't discovered yet. [You're
not very good at this are you?]
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by
three feet by four feet?
Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled
incorrectly?
Answer: Incorrectly
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet her birthday is always in
the summer. How is this possible?
Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a
wooden leg. Why not?
Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a
camera to take pictures.
8. What was the President's Name in 1975?
Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come on ...]
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd
place, what place would you be in now?
Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second
place, not first.
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white"
or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh]
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in
the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined
them all in another field?
Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become
one big stack.
You can go back to sleep now ...
This is from Sue Fletcher Wood
EXERCISE FOR
PEOPLE OVER 50
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at
each side.
With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your
sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and
then relax.
Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.
Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift
a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a
full minute. (I'm at this level.)
After you feel confident at that level, put a small potato in each bag.
This is from Sue Fletcher Wood
His dizzy aunt ------------------------------
The brother who ate prunes------------------------
The brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia ----------------------------- U Gogh
His magician uncle ------------------------------
His Mexican cousin------------------------
The Mexican cousin's American half-brother ------------ Gring Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach --------------- Wells-far Gogh
The constipated uncle ------------------------------
The ballroom dancing aunt ------------------------------
The bird lover uncle ------------------------------
The fruit-loving cousin ------------------------------
An aunt who taught positive thinking ------------------ Way-to-Gogh
The little bouncy nephew ------------------------------
A sister who loved disco ------------------------------
And his niece who travels the country in an RV --- Winnie Bay Gogh
I saw you smiling . . . There ya Gogh!
This is from Sue Fletcher Wood - she's on a roll
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This from Sue Fletcher Wood
Riding Lawn Mower - FOR SALE !!!
My Wife always
wanted a riding lawn mower.
She works all day and was always tired when she came home from work
and thought that a riding lawn mower would help her get the yard work done
quicker
so she would have more time for the chores inside the house.
SO, being the handy sort of guy that I am, I made her a riding lawn mower.
I guess I thought she would squeal with delight or something and give me a big
hug.
To this day I
have never been able to understand
why some
women are so hard to please ...
P.S. I can see out of my left eye pretty good now and should be able to leave the hospital sometime next week!
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These from Bev Bundy Schroeder - just to make you smile
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This from Sue Fletcher Wood
A WOMAN was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane .
Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney
Along the way. The flight attendant explained that
There would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted
To get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.
Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was
Blind. A man had noticed her as he walked by and
Could tell the lady was blind because her Guide
Dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her
Throughout the entire flight.
He could also tell she had flown this very flight before
Because the pilot approached her, and calling her by
Name, said, 'Kathy, we are in Sydney for almost
An hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?'
The blind lady replied, 'No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs.'
Picture this:
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill
When they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane
With a Guide dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.
People scattered.
They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!
True story... Have a great day and remember ...
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These "Thoughts to Live By" are from Larry Siders
1] Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout.
2] So a Car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the Rear view Mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, Look Ahead and Move on.
3] Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes years to write, but only a few seconds to burn.
4] All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.
5] Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!
6] Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, "Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end!
7] When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.
8] A blind person asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!"
9] When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.
10] WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES, it takes away today's PEACE.
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This one from Sue Fletcher Wood
This explains it all !!!!
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This one from Sue Fletcher Wood
A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of
church services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in
the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: 'Stop! Acts 2:38!'
(Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins
may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and
explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: 'Why did
you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.'
'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!'
Send this to someone who needs a laugh today and remember: Knowing scripture
can save your life - in more ways than one!
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These are a few from Suzie Wyness
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Waiting to enter Paradise - From Sue Fletcher Wood
When everyone left on earth was waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line is for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line is for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."
Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men. The line of men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long. In the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.
God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."
God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."
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From Sue Fletcher Wood
Did you lose a cat?
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Paintings on buildings: before and after - This comes from Bob Ames
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This comes from Sue Fletcher Wood
PRAYER FOR GRANDPA
Dear God,
please send clothes
for all those poor ladies
on grandpa's computer.
Amen!
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Too Busy for a Friend? - From Bill Gaither
One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.
Then, she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.
It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.
That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.
On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.
No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.
Several years later, one of the students was killed in Viet Nam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.
The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.
As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked. She nodded: 'yes.'
Then he said: 'Mark talked about you a lot.' After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.
'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times.
The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.
'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'
All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'
Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.'
'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary'
Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: 'I think we all saved our lists'
That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.
The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.
So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.
And One Way To Accomplish This Is: Forward this message on. If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the wonderful opportunity to do something nice and beautiful.
If you've received this, it is because someone cares for you and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care.
If you're 'too busy' to take those few minutes right now to forward this message on, would this be the VERY first time you didn't do that little thing that would make a difference in your relationships?
The more people that you send this to, the better you'll be at reaching out to those you care about.
Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.
May Your Day Be Blessed And As Special As You Are.
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Courtesy of Sue Fletcher Wood
You know, there are some things that you just never think of ... like Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian side.
YOU DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE YOU GET OLD, YOU GET OLD BECAUSE YOU STOP LAUGHING
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Why teachers drink - by Sally Andrews Neely
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Life Explained - From Sue Fletcher Wood
On
the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of
your house, and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I
will give you a life span of 20 years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only 10
years, and I'll give you back the other 10?"
So God saw it was good.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people,
do tricks, and make them laugh.. For this, I'll give you a 20-year life
span."
The
monkey said, "Monkey tricks for 20 years? That's a pretty long time to
perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?"
And God again saw it was good.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years."
The cow said,
"That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about
20, and I'll give back the other 40?"
And God agreed it was good.
On the fourth day God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and
enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you 20 years."
But the human said, "Only 20
years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10
the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back; that makes 80, okay?"
"Okay," said God. "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next 40 years, we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next 10 years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last 10 years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to
you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as
a public service. If you are looking for me, I will be on the front porch.
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From Sue Fletcher Wood
My house was broken into last night by two robbers who locked me in the bathroom, and proceeded to steal all they could carry. My watchdog, "Killer", did not alert me, and for this reason I am giving him away. I no longer want a dog - I'm installing an electric fence and detection devices with alarms. They're cheaper and more reliable. For those interested in adopting the dog please send an e-mail urgently.A photo of "Killer" is attached below.
He does have a few problems but with help he should be ok!!
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A Few from Bob Ames
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From Sue Fletcher Wood 6/29/11
Wife’s
Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had
made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was
shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was
upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no
comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested
that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but
he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said,
'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He
said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and
not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved
him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his
behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as
if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there
quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and
absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to
bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt
that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere
else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm
almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life
is a disaster.
Husband's Diary:
The boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out.
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This is from Kay Rice 6/27/11
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"Anyone who
has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
- Albert Einstein